Thursday, May 26, 2005

Jay Leno and Michael Jackson

It has been in the headlines for sometime…the trial of the “Gloved One”. But the real battle seems to be headed by Jay Leno with his raunchy monologues:-

  1. "Michael Jackson was caught on tape saying he was a virgin until he was the age of 32. I mean, is that really shocking? I mean, he was a black man guy 'til he was 35"
  2. "Michael brought his personal magician into court with him. Good to see this thing doesn't turn into a circus. I guess the magician's job at Neverland was to make the young boy's pants disappear."
  3. "According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money."
  4. "A lot of people thought Michael Jackson was faking it yesterday but people who know Michael say he does have back problems that flare up from time to time. Like when he's on trial for child molestation."
  5. "What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he's creepy; the other's Michael Jackson."
  6. "Michael Jackson claims that his partners would sleep in the bed, while he slept on the floor. You know, it's the same arrangement the Clintons had."
  7. "Michael Jackson now using the internet to communicate with his fans. Which makes sense, that’s how he met most of 'em."
  8. "After turning himself in yesterday, Michael Jackson was placed in handcuffs. I think he helped his case when he asked 'These are neat, do they come in smaller sizes?"
  9. "Michael Jackson announced this week that the Neverland Ranch is no longer home to him. He said he can’t go back there. Which of course is really bad news for the kids locked in the crawlspace."
  10. "Now he is out on bail — again he still doesn't get it. When a reporter asked him what he is going to do now, he said, 'I'm going to Disneyland.'"
  11. "Michael says he is going to fight these charges tooth and nail — because those are the only real body parts he has left."

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