Thursday, June 30, 2005

Do I really look stupid to you or what?

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Got this in my gmail yesterday (it's quite long email, so, please bear with me)….

FROM: MAXWELL KHUMALO
TEL:+27-83 360 4199
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ATTN:C.E.O,
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With due respect, trust and humility, I use this medium to write this letter to you irrespective of the fact that you do not know me, but please do consider this letter as a request from a family in dare need of assistance.Let me formally introduce myself. I am MAXWELL KHUMALO, the son of LATE.DR.GOODWILL KHUMALO, the renowned Zimbabwean Wine and Cattle Ranch farmer. I got your contact courtesy of a business journal from the South African Information Exchange in my earnest search for a reliable andtrustworthy individual/company who can assist me in this business.
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During the war waged against the farmers in Zimbabwe by the supporters and cohorts of President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white owned farms in our country, my late father belonged to one of the classes of farmers targeted by the ZANU-PF armed group, because he did not support their ideas andpolicies. In the course of the revolution in the country, the ZANU-PF armed group attacked and invaded my father’s farms burning, destroying and eventually killing him. After my father’s death last year, I managed to escape the boundaries of Zimbabwe into South Africa with my mother, because our lives were threatened and Zimbabwe was no longer safe for us. We escaped safely into South Africa with my father’s lifetime fortune of US$25 (TWENTY FIVE MILLION USDollars) cash, bonds, important documents of property title and other valuables, which he instructed I his son on before his death.
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The money and valuables were concealed and secured in one big treasure box, and were transported to Johannesburg through diplomatic means. The box are currently safely secured in the vaults of a private security and brokerage firm here in Johannesburg.Presently, I am residing temporarily with my mother in Johannesburg pending the outcome of an appeal filed on my behalf by my attorney for the Department of Home Affairs to grant us political asylum. At the moment, I am in a dilemma on how to move this money safely out of South Africa for investments.
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Moreover ,due to South Africa’s government’s stringent monetary policies/regulations and the sensitive and volatile political status of the region, it would be most dangerous to attempt investments here as such act could jeopardize our chances. In recognition of your personal executive powers and investmentopportunities that abound in your country, I solicit for your assistance in moving this money into your bank account for safekeeping pending our future arrival for investments.My mother and I have resolved to compensate you adequately by offering a brokerage commission of 20% of the money. We have also earmarked 5% for pre-transfer expenses we may incur in the course of the transaction and guarantee that any other expenses during the transaction are subject to refund.
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I have in mind to establish a good business and friendly relationship with you in the nearest future if you are able to assist us. Please let me receive your approval or reply through this my email address above or phone number above and feel free to ask any questions you may consider relevant and kindly, send your phone and fax number for easier communication.
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If you are unable to assist please be kind to notify me so that I can look for a suitable alternative. Please accept my warm compliments, as Iearnestly await for your urgent response
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Best regard,MR.MAXWELL KHUMALO
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THIS IS MY ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS(maxwellkhumalo30@hotmail.com).
YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH IT.
THANKS.

First of all, I am not a CEO of any company so I know “Khumalo” actually does not really knows me (although I have been to South Africa for a very brief period).
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Secondly, who in the fucking world want to depart with USD25 million to a complete stranger, half way around the world? Which mean this could mean only one thing...a classic African scam(unfortunately, there are still people around the world still falling for such scams).
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Finally, having names like “Maxwell” (maximize very well?) and “Goodwill” (goodwill, my foot) did not really convince me.

I could have ignored the mail and go on with my life. However, I decided to reply the mail with this statement:-

“Do yourself a big favor....please don't cheat people. Don't send unnecessary emails to complete strangers. It could be mistaken for spam. Don't do it because then people like me may start to curse you and you may end up being sent to hell. Thanks”
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Do I look stupid to you?

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